CanadaxReader
by Aariah
Summary: A CanadaxReader I wrote for my freind. You are a 9th grader in high school and meet a guy named Matthew, whom you quickly fall for. However something about his cousin Arthur seems more then a bit off...
1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN HETALIA IN ANY WAY, FASHION OR FORM. NOR DO I OWN THE WONDERFUL SONG MERCEDES LACKEY HAS WRITTEN!

The song by the way is Windrider Unchained by Mercedes Lackey, sung by Heather Alexander.

Hello everyone, this is just a story my friend told me to write, please feel free to write any reviews.

You always were quiet, an introvert by nature you preferred books to human company. So thus you filled your head with stories rather than friends. That was okay by you however, until you started high school you found solace in the stories that you adored, for they are what saved you from the chaos at home. Whenever you where alone however, you let that sadness that was repressed out through music, haunting melodies that filled the sky it seemed. You are alone at a bus stop, your hair whipping in your eyes as numerous cars speed by. Your voice starts out low, then gains strength as the verses of the ballad progress

Windrider fettered imprisoned and pinioned,

Wing-clipped by magic his power full drained.

Valdemar's heir is defeated and captive

With his companion by Darklord enchained.

Darklord of shadows his fetters is weaving

Binds him in darkness as deep as despair

Mocks at his anger and laughs at his weeping

Where is your strength now, oh Valdemar's heir?

Out of the darkness another draws nearer,

Out of the twilight steals one furtive light.

Shadows dance pain while the light sings despairing

Drawn here by Darshay and Windrider's plight.

Power new-won have the singer and dancer

Power to shatter their curses at last

Power that also could free the sad captives

Power to break the bonds holding them fast

Heart speaks to heart in the depth of the darkness,

Grief calls to grief and you falter afraid

Why-

You falter when you notice a man standing behind you, leaning against the cement wall. His eyes first capture you, a vibrant blue, almost purple hidden behind clear glass. You know you have seen those eyes before; then it hits you, the person attends your high school. He, you realize is even more of a loner than yourself, you at least had Maria and Elizabeth; you had never seen him with anyone before. He is looking at you, his brownish blonde hair, like yours is whipping around due to the cars. He notices you and smiles.

Although you are painfully shy, you smile back and wave him over to sit down. He walks over and sits, placing his backpack on the ground between his feet. He looks a bit nervous, then in a soft, whispery tone he says, "The song was pretty."

You blush in embarrassment then, in a voice almost as soft as his reply, "Thank you, I don't usually sing in front of people though…" as an afterthought you add "My name is _ by the way." You feel your blush grow deeper. You rarely talk willingly, and then only to your two best friends.

Looking at him you realize that he too, has a slight pink tinge to his cheeks and seems overly interested in the red maple leaf printed on his sweatshirt. After a pause he says "Sorry, that was rude of me, my name is Mathew Williams."

The two of you talk for a while, and exchange numbers. Your bus pulls up so you give a small wave and he smiles. When you get on the bus you find one of your best friends, a spacy blonde named Maria with a very overprotective brother. As you sit next to her she raises an eyebrow.

"So….." She begins, "Who was that you were talking to over there?" Suddenly she smirks, "he really is quite cute, and if I remember correctly he has the tendency to stare at you during school."

You blush, making Maria squeal in delight, which in turn makes you blush even more. You mentally slap yourself, as once Maria has started on something she won't finish or put it down before she is good and ready, and that often takes a while. Then once the high pitched squealing dies down you say" his name is Matthew" Quickly you place a hand over the ear closest to Maria, before she started squealing again. Her brother Vash is sitting a few rows ahead, and glances back at his rather noisy sister. He just shakes his head when you shrug, a rather difficult task because one hand is still over your ear.

"So _ (your name) "She says once she had gotten over her fit, "What did you talk about?" her eyes glaze over and she looks at you with an innocent smile that rather scares you when in use. However with the fact that she seems rather desperate for information you struggle to hold in laughter.

Furthermore, to annoy her in her search of gossip, which she is always searching for you say "We talked about everything, then nothing at all?" Somehow you manage to keep a straight face, though you are not quite sure how.

Maria slaps you lightly on the head and says in an exasperated tone, "_, why on earth must you be so damned cryptic all the time?" You can tell she will probably pursue the topic again, but not at the moment because Vash is now glaring at her for her language, which he gets rather upset with.

You retort "and why must you always be in search of gossip?"

She smiles at that, and replies in a sing-songy voice. "What else would I do? With Vash always right behind me somewhere I can't do anything myself, so I rely on the doings of others." The two of you spend the rest of the ride in comfortable silence, with Maria making faces at her brother when he dares look to check up on her.


	2. Chapter 2

As you can probably tell (Hopefully?) Maria is indeed Liechtenstein. Yeah sorry about the length, didn't really have the time to type up much more than that. Reviews are loved and welcome, and will make the writer update much faster. Elizabeth is Hungary… Yeah I do not own Hetalia.

You are sitting in the room that you would have shared with your sister Gwen had things turned out differently. Nevertheless you had your mom bring in her things, and you put them away as you thought she would have. You can remember Mom shaking her head, you were rather stubborn about this but you each had your own way of dealing with the grief.

You dig a book out of one of the numerous stacks, a worn paperback titled The Little White Horse. Again you start the book; you have read it many times before. Just when you turn to the end of the first chapter your phone buzzes.

From: Matthew

Hi _

You smile and respond

To: Matthew

Hey, how is you doing?

From: Matthew

Good I guess, and you?

To: Matthew

So-lala. You doing anything for lunch tomorrow? If not you should sit with us ;)

From: Matthew

Sure, sounds good. I will keep an eye out for you

You smile in relief; you had been rather scared that he would refuse. Then you get a text from Elizabeth, asking for the homework from one of the classes you share so you send it to her, telling her also about Matthew. She responds to that quickly;

From Elizabeth

This guy had better not be a character from one of your books. I swear if this is just another fangirl moment like it was with robin 1 I will steal one of your skillets and beat you with it. Mine is still broken ;(

You giggle at the memory, and then frown. Elizabeth had ruined 4 different books with a cheap skillet because her mom had forbidden her to use her good ones. A similar fate also had been met with her old bike… that was rather interesting. Even Vash had looked rather impressed at the lump of metal and rubber that was left.

1 Robin is one of the characters form The LIttle White Horse, And that was later made into a movie, The Secret Of Moonacre


	3. Chapter 3

Yay, another chapter! Sorry everyone about how short they are at the moment. Tuesday (hopefully) I should be getting a laptop, but for now it's all being typed up on library computers… this one should be a bit longer. Also, REVEIWS, see I have to make the effort of convincing my mom its okay for me to be at the library for an hour, so if you write reviews I won't be so annoyed at that task. Also reviews will take my mind off at how annoying the younger siblings I must drag with me along to the library…

Sorry about the bit of rambling, here you go

The next morning you stare at yourself in the mirror. Your (h/l), (h/c) looked decent for once, so you were able to leave it down, pinning the front half out of your face just in case though. You start swearing after you hear your Mom's car pulling out of the driveway, so you gather your textbooks and stuff them all into the grey canvas messenger bag you use as a backpack. Then, after turning off all the lights and locking up you make your way to the bus stop, keeping an eye out for any cars you run across the busy street.

Elizabeth is already there, which is rather unusual. Her long, waist length light brown hair is bound into a rather messy bun at the nape of her neck. Her large green eyes flash as she smiles a greeting. You really don't know how you, Maria and Elizabeth had become friends, it's just kind of happened. Maria was naturally spacey and, as the previous day had shown rather fond of gossip. You were quiet, but once you started talking with someone you could talk a lot. Elizabeth… well there were not many words to describe her. Not that it was a bad thing; it simply leads to more interesting situations.

Elizabeth starts jokingly complaining, "Good morning _, Ughhhh it's too bright…" She covers her eyes with a hand and pretends to faint. That forces a laugh out of you, and your mood improves a bit. She was usually like this, goofy and fun… unless you got her mad. Then she was just plain scary.

Maria calls out to both of you and you see her being dragged by Vash across the street. Vash is just marching her along, a grumpy expression on his face. His expression changes a bit and it seems to you he makes a bit more of an effort to look cheerful when Elizabeth is around. Both of you smile at the siblings, or rather step-siblings; Vash was older by about two months, however it could have been years considering how much more mature he acted.

He drops Maria off with the two of you and heads over to talk to his friend Gilbert. The bus after a while finally pulls up, and the three of you sit towards the front, where the risk of getting things thrown at you was significantly decreased. Both you and Maria notice how Elizabeth keeps sneaking looks towards Vash, and he seems to be doing the same. The two of you start giggling gleefully until Elizabeth smacks you both.

You get to the cafeteria that day before the lunch bell rings, so you claim a round table near the huge windows. Taking out a book to pass the time you wait till your friends come. Maria is the first to wander over, and once she sits down she shoves a couple of drawings into your face. "Look at the pictures Bruder drew for me, aren't they cute?" You had to admit, the pictures were cute, small cartoon animals and such. When Elizabeth sits down she snatches them away from you and starts to go through them.

Vash sits down, and looks rather mortified when he realized what the people already seated have been looking at. "Don't tell me you have actually been showing those to people Maria." He goes a bit pink and buries his head in his hands.

"Of course Bruder," She slips into a bit on her native German, "Sie is so schön!" She gives Vash that innocent smile she seems to have perfected.

Vash is shaking his head and muttering "Nein, Maria, nein" when Matthew sits down.

" Hi Matthew!" Maria calls out brightly, you just smile your greeting. Then to Vash's further annoyance she snatches the drawings from Elizabeth's hand and shows them to Matthew, who looks rather confused. He takes the pictures, and after shuffling through them hands them back to Maria.

After that Matthew joins easily into the conversation. Although he doesn't speak overly much, however provides choice words when prompted. You can tell that everyone like him.

When you take your leave with Maria and Elizabeth and slowly make your way to your next class Elizabeth speaks first. "I totally approve _, he is totally adorable, has manners and I think he would be perfect for you. Pity, can't steal your skillet now can I?" you shake your head no, "Well then, Maria, shall we be matchmakers?"

Your face by now is red. Maria starts giggling, "Well, Elizabeth don't you have your own problems right now?"

"What?" Elizabeth looks rather puzzled.

Maria seeing this sighs, "Just try not to hit Vash too hard, it might scare him off. Also he ran out of air soft pellets, he would love it if someone gave him more..."

Elizabeth blushes but looks rather thoughtful. You turn and whisper to Maria loudly "She isn't even denying it!"

Maria nods, "Maybe I should warn him now to run…"

Elizabeth turns slowly "You wouldn't" the words come out slowly, "please don't, just don't"

Maria laughs, "don't worry, you know I wouldn't!"

"Actually, "you point out, "One can never know with you Maria, you are rather unpredictable." Maria wisely stays silent.

THANK YOU PEOPLES ALL SO MUCH FOR READING! Feel free to give me suggestions, and most of all reviews. That would make me ever so happy


	4. Chapter 4

Hello peoples! Thank you to all that have favorited or put this story on alert. But do remember to leave reviews. Hehehe… *evil smirk* Yes do leave reviews; Aariah does love reviews… *eyes glazing over*

I DO NOT OWN HETALIA IN ANY WAY (I only own my little ideas and the thoughts in my head)

Sorry it took so long to update, I have been ill and have finals to study for :(

Here is a longer chapter to make up for my negligence. Also I am increasing the rating because it is starting to get a bit darker and will start to include things that otherwise would be unfitting.

lalalalalalalalalala

You walk to the same bus stop you had the day before, as you got out early because you didn't have a class for the last period of the day. When you get there Matthew is already sitting at the bench, when he sees you he smiles. Smiling back, you walk over and sit beside him.

"You must sit with us more often, seriously. You actually kept Elizabeth in line." Your voice barely rises above the noise of the cars, but you let your amusement show through. "Often times we have to hold her back from using her skillet on people, although at the moment that is broken."

Matthew raises and eyebrow, and in a voices as soft as your own questions, "How on earth can someone actually break a skillet?" He looks absolutely adorable, and you notice now that he has a slight accent.

You start laughing then when you catch your breath you pull out your phone, scrolling through the pictures you find the one that you want. "This is how." You show him the picture of the mangled wreck of metal that used to be a bicycle. Matthew turns white.

After visibly regaining his composure, then whispers, "I see how that could work now." He still looks a bit frightened. You could understand why entirely, however you really couldn't take your thoughts away from the expression on his face, it was utterly distracting.

You are quick to reassure him, "Don't worry, she only does that when she gets really angry, and then usually Maria can hold her back."

He shakes his head and smiles again. "I think I will probably eat with you guys more, it beats trying to eat near my brother." Holding eye contact he continues, "It really was fun, thanks for inviting me." He pauses, as if not sure how to continue, "Is it just me or does Elizabeth have a thing for… Vash wasn't it? The one who drew the pictures."

Again you start laughing, Elizabeth really was an open book at times, "Isn't it easy to tell? I mean Maria is all for it, Vash is her step-brother after all. She is really close to him but doesn't give a shit about who he dates. Now she is probably going to play matchmaker and have fun with it. Don't be surprised with awkwardness."

Mathew smiles, however the smile evaporates when the two of you hear two people arguing rather loudly.

The two people, teenage guys stop their fight when they apparently notice Matthew. You hear a loud, obnoxious voice scream, "HI MATTIE!" the aforementioned person cringes.

"Uh… Hi Alfred…" by some miracle Alfred hears the soft voice. This Alfred person looks like Matthew, well sort of. Matthew you decide is much better looking. Alfred's hair is cut shorter than Matthew's, whose hair is around his shoulders. He (Alfred) seems to finally notice your presence beside Matthew and looks a bit puzzled.

"Wait..." he continues looking at you puzzled then he seems to have a bright idea, which he proceeds to shout out. "MATTIE YOU HAVE A GIRLFREIND!"

Both you and Matthew turn scarlet And Matthew speaks up in a voice louder than you have heard come from him before. "No, Alfred, this is my FRIEND _."At that Alfred shrugs.

Then the other person speaks up, he is obviously older than all of you, has a shock of blonde hair and huge bush-like eyebrows. "Nice going Alfred you git, now Mat sorry about that. Why don't you introduce us to your friend properly?" The British accent sends a pang through you; your family had been living in London at the time of Gwen's early death.

Matthew's face loses some of its tension and resumes in his normal soft voice." _, this is my twin Alfred, and my cousin Arthur. Alfred you probably recognize, Arthur just moved in with my family because he has decided to go to Reed next year." Arthur turns slightly and you can see the numerous piercings in his ears.

"Hello, Matthew already told you my name. It's nice to meet you." You manage to convincingly fake a smile, you felt rather wary of Arthur for some reason. TO both your and Matthew's relief the two members of Matthew's family get on the bus that pulls up, one that heads toward the mall.

Once the bus pulls away you turn to Matthew, "Are they always that way?"

Matthew smiles that adorable smile and reddens slightly. "Unfortunately yes, it has gotten even worse since Arthur moved to the states with us." He shakes his head a bit and continues, "I mean I lived up in Canada for a while because my grand-mère managed to get me into a boarding school up there so it really wasn't that bad you could say, but still, visits home were horrible." He turns his head and sighs

Hesitating, you lay a hand on his shoulder, he turns back to you. His face is scarlet again; however he keeps eye-contact when he takes your hand into his own. He doesn't release it till your bus pulls up, and you gift him with a sad smile. He watches you as you show your pass to the driver and the doors close behind you. You can still feel his eyes as the vehicle pulls away.

You haven't any idea why you still say to people that you share your room with Gwen. The bed she used to sleep in is neatly made and dusty from disuse. Mom's face held this sorrow as she shook her head, arranging to have the things brought over from England. She even helped you put her things as the two of you remembered. That was last year, the beginning of eighth grade. You still remember walking through the doors of the middle school, prepared to once again be alone. However somehow Maria, then Elizabeth attached themselves to you and by the end of the day the three of you felt you had known the other at least forever, if not more.

Still you can see the image in your mind; you had walked into the restroom in your home. Gwen was lying in the empty bath, her crimson blood slowly creeping down the drain. There was a bottle of vodka in one hand, and a sharp kitchen knife in the other. Her wrists were slit wide open and her fingers bloody. On the wall she had written sloppily in her life 'I'm sorry, I am done.' Probably the worst part was the fact that she was smiling peacefully, as if she were truly happy.

You heard someone screaming, and only when your mom and father walked in did you realize it was you. Gwen didn't leave a note, why would she? Just those words written on the wall. She had been happy, everyone was. Now looking back you see it was probably only Gwen who kept that little picture alive. You finished the sixth, then seventh grade not saying a single word. Your Father left right after the funeral, he never calls you, simply sends the checks every month like he is supposed to.

Mom both saw and felt the sorrow, the now bloody slate sullied with the tears of those left. She moved the little family of two away to where she grew up in the states, Portland, Oregon. You didn't much mind the rain; it was a clean sort of rain, the kind that washes instead of the heavy sort that made one feel unclean. She found an old house in Sellwood. There the two of you tried to make something new, and you eventually succeeded. You were happy, well mostly.

Mom was overjoyed that Maria and Elizabeth lived nearby, she had you drag them and Vash (Vash went where Maria did) over constantly, baking fare similar to that she did for the small bakery she had started up. Maria and Elizabeth adored her as well, always finding excuses to come over, and they always left with various bags of baked goods.

The sound of Mom's car in the driveway snaps you back to the present. Running out to greet your Mom, you plant a kiss on her cheek and help gather the groceries from the trunk. The two of you chat about nonsense as you put away the groceries in the cupboards and fridge. After Mom changes her clothes you help her with dinner.

"So _, what has you in such a good mood today? You are actually speaking more than two sentences at a time." Mom looks at you expectantly, and you blush. "It's a guy isn't it?" You turn an even deeper shade in answer. Mom starts laughing then, "So what is his name?"

"Matthew, Matthew Williams." You notice Mom actually looks really excited, and is kind of scaring you.

"Now the important things, is he cute and when do I get to meet him?" Mom tries to sound nonchalant but fails.

You smirk, perking her interest even more. "He is absolutely adorable." Mom nods for you to continue, "He is really quiet and shy, tall, has light brownish hair about here," you cut an invisible line at your neck where Matthew's hair ended. "And his smile is amazing."

Mom shoots another question "What do Elizabeth and Maria think?"

"Let me just say they basically decided, not actually putting it into words mind you, that we would be a couple by the end of the month. They seem absolutely dead set on this, and have opted to play matchmaker where necessary. Also," You turn the topic away from yourself, "Elizabeth and Vash are absolutely sweet on each other."

Mom stops chopping carrots and turns to look at you, "Really…" she recovers and continues chopping, "Wow, and how does Maria think about one of her best friends liking her brother?"

"Step brother Mom" you correct her, "And she is rather happy about it if you ask me."

"Well that's good, fire meets fire, now that is going to be fun to watch!" Your mom's laughter rings through the old house. You join her.

"I think that is what Maria is hoping for, so maybe then Vash won't bother her about her behavior so much. Also I think we both just want to see if everyone will make it intact after the first bigger fight." You pause, "I mean remember what happened to her old bike."

"That I do, that I do, and that's why it is going to be so entertaining." Mom dumps the veggies into the pot bubbling on the stove. "You invite them all over on Saturday for dinner, "she looks at you, "That Matthew of yours as well. They can hang out over here for a while, and you know Vash can come as well, that will probably reassure the Zwinglis about Maria." The two of you spend the rest of the evening talking, her explaining the dos and don'ts of dating, only not in a way (thankfully) that made you want to run and hide.

lalalalaalallalalalalalala

Wows, that took forever. Ok I know most of you are not familiar with Portland, which you now know the story is set in. Sorry, I live in Portland and thought to stick to what I know. Word about Oregon, Northwestern Oregon is well known for the rain, seriously it's still raining as I speak here. Basically you can expect rain through much of the year except summer.

Reed Collage is a fairly liberal collage, if you want more info here is the website: .edu/

Also about the fact that the reader always seems to be on a bus, the Portland Public School district utilizes public transportation or known here as Trimet to transport its high school students to and from school.

Sellwood is a neighborhood; you know those ones with narrow streets, old beautiful houses and small businesses. If any of you have any more questions feel free to PM me and I will try my best to clarify or answer. Thanks to you all! And remember to review.


	5. Chapter 5

Yeah sorry about the wait- but GASP the bit of my other story that I posted got me from an F (shocking I know, lots of family problems though) to a C in English I GOT 150 POINTS FOR IT! Yup finished my finals a day early so here ya go. And please do remember to review, it makes me so happy to open up my email and see that people appreciate my work—or if they even read it. Thanks a ton and now *bowing* here is the chapter you so waited for. And oh yeah, I DO NOT OWN Hetalia—otherwise I would ship my older sister to some far-off place, never to be seen again.

* * *

When you woke the next morning it was raining. Well, not a full out downpour, but still some water was falling magically from the sky. Getting ready you decide not to bother with an umbrella, as the rain really wasn't too bad and you didn't want to carry it around with you. Throwing on a jacket and grabbing your bag you make your way outside into the grey, brown and green dampness that was Oregon.

Like every morning you get on the bus, and when you get to school you suffer silently through your morning classes. Lunch was something to look forward to now, you seriously doubt that anyone from your old school would recognize you; you smiled instead of the dead expression your face used to sport. Also, the most shocking, you laughed. You laughed at Maria and Elizabeth's squabbles, often over the smallest things, and also over the things Maria did to poor Vash. You are shaken out of your memories when the bell rings, and the quick shuffling of papers and bodies that follows.

Gathering your belongings you make your way to the cafeteria again, silently trying to figure out how to dish your mom's invitation out to Matthew. Maria and Elizabeth were easy, they came over often, but… you shake your head again, trying to clear your now scrambled thoughts. You decided to improvise, and figure things out as you went instead of giving yourself a headache.

Again like the day before you are the one to claim a table. While digging through your backpack you hear the scrape of a chair. Looking up you see Matthew sliding a chair over from another table, placing it next to you before sitting down. Finally, you find your lunch, and a container of cookies your mom must have stuck in before she had left.

When everyone is seated you take out the container and pass it around the table, urging everyone to take a cookie. Maria, Elizabeth and Vash were already used to your mom's amazing baking but Matthew wasn't. After taking a bite out of the cookie he pauses, after swallowing he turns to you, "Your mom actually made these?"

Smiling broadly, you nod, taking a bite out of your own cookie. "She actually runs the little bakery nearby."

Matthew's mouth makes a little o and he looks away for a second. Then Elizabeth decides to pull out a paper bag. After checking the contents, she hands them over to Vash, who was sitting to her right. "Mom has been yelling at me to get rid of these, I thought you could use them." She makes her sentences short and clipped, somehow managing to seem brisk and business-like although her cheeks were rather pink.

Vash's face brightens into a huge grin after looking at the contents of the bag. His voice is full of gratitude as he thanks Elizabeth. The rest of lunch was spent in laughter, and well… cookies, your mom really had sent quite a few.

Again that day you met Matthew at the bus stop, you had the feeling this would probably become a daily occurrence. You had gotten there before him however, and were in the middle of going over the lyrics to The Sound of Silence when he made his way towards you. Sitting down next to you he asks softly, "What time is okay with you for me to head over? Also I kinda need your address…" His voice trails off into nothing.

Thinking for a moment you answer carefully, "I will text you the address later, along with what Mom says about the time. Also do you have any favorite foods?"

"Ummm…" Matthew looks a bit sheepish. "Maple Syrup, does that count as a food, or no?"

You nod, laughing (You seemed to be doing a lot more of that since the beginning of the week, it was almost starting to worry you.) "Depends on the person, I think in some people's case it could be considered more of a drink," You stop dramatically and look at Matthew. "Don't tell me you plain out drink it…"

Matthew to your surprise goes a bit pink and ducks his head a little, "Well… when we are out of pancake mix…" Seeing the expression on his face you cannot help but giggle, which soon turns to a full out laugh. Matthew joins after looking at you for a second, confused.

After you had caught your breath again you manage to give a reason for your laughter. "I used to know this person who ended up drinking chocolate syrup by the bottle, I just had to ask."

Matthew nods and adds, "I know it weird but it's just so good, the only annoying thing about it is the fact that it is so thick, and sticky."

That somehow got the two of you in a debate over which maple syrup brand was better, a most enlightening conversation. (Really it was, syrup requires good taste!) Matthew it turned out really was very fussy about his maple syrup, and would only buy certain brands, those being mostly imported from Canada. You, being a baker's daughter had naturally been exposed to many different brands of various things (your mom did like good quality ingredients) and had enough experience to actually put in a word. When the bus pulled up you both looked at it in annoyance, for disturbing such a heated conversation. Sighing, you bid farewell and grabbing your wallet from your bag go get onto the bus.

You do not really question just how Maria manages to get on the bus before you anymore; you simply accept it as a given fact. You passively show the driver your pass and walk toward the back to where Maria was sitting, thankfully a ways from a rather odorous homeless man. (Not that you had anything against the homeless, it was simply the lack of bathing in this particular individual that bothered you.) After walking past the individual (rather quickly, the sent really was unpleasant) Maria moves her bag from the seat next to her so you could sit down. "What were you talking about this time, please tell me, I am rather curious to what had both you and Matthew so animated." Maria voices her question quietly.

Deciding to answer this time around, you speak. "We were having a discussion on Maple Syrup."

Maria's voice is rather incredulous. "You're kidding me; you were talking about MAPLE SYRUP?"

You smile smugly, "Yes we were talking about syrup, it was a rather good conversation, I must have Mom try out some of the brands he suggested."

Maria shakes her head slowly. "I can't believe you were talking about syrup. I thought you were having this totally deep conversation and you were talking about SYRUP!"

"Who says a conversation about syrup can't be deep?" Maria is looking at you with disbelief at your words.

"_, I am starting to really think this guy is perfect for you." Maria sounds convinced. After shooting her a doubtful glance she continues, "The two of you can have whole conversation on something as simple as syrup. Really, I am going to get furious if this doesn't work out."

"You can't know that it is even going to turn into a relationship." You get annoyed at her certainty.

She looks at you as if she is annoyed at the antics of a young toddler. "Do not question me oh bright one. I have knowing far beyond yours. Trust me in this, please."

You let the topic drop, before you got Maria even more annoyed than she already was. Deciding of a safer topic you ask her, "Maria, Elizabeth actually took your advice today, didn't she?"

Maria smiles, "Yes, only I think her mom really was bothering her about them, she gave him 5 containers worth. Let's just say that Vash is more than a little happy at the moment." Glancing back at the aforementioned person you could see him holding the bag Elizabeth had given him earlier on his lap, every so often he would glance down and a slight smile would grace his face. It was rather strange to see him smile at such simple a thing, but it was nice at the same time.

You get off at your mom's bakery today. Every so often you would stop by and help out. Walking into the shop, you breathe in deeply, reveling in the smell. It always smelled like bread, flour and chocolate. Slipping into the back where a batch of bread was basking in the oven, you pull on an apron and your nametag and go back up front, to help your mom at the register. Mom smiles at your appearance, and has you start wrapping up baked loaves to give to the customers.

"Matthew and I had the most interesting conversation today Mom." You let a bit of amusement into your voice.

Mom looks at you with a smile. "And may I ask what this conversation was about?"

You manage to keep your face somewhat serious, "Yes, you may. We were talking about Maple Syrup."

Mom raises an eyebrow, equally serious. "And how did that go?"

You finally let yourself laugh, "Very well actually, he recommended some brands that I haven't heard of. Also, he was wondering what time it was okay for him to head over."

Your mom thinks for a moment before answering. "I work until three Saturday, if he wants to come by earlier he can have someone drop him by the shop and he can hang out for a bit."

"Sounds good by me." You allow your mind trail away from the task at hand.

* * *

Yay, that's done. Also if you are interested in designing a cover image for this story, for both here and on deviantart PM me, I would give full credit. Oh and here is a link to my deviantart account, take out the spaces aviellen. deviantart .com


	6. Chapter 6

Thought I would do a chapter from Matthew's point of view. Sorry if it is a bit short though… Thanks again to all have read. There is this little button, tis blue I believe, unless you are reading on mobile. You should totally click it and tell me what you think…

* * *

His childhood wasn't exactly abusive, but it was for the most part unhappy. After his parents divorced, he ended up with his father, who was too preoccupied with his stepmother to much care. They stayed in Canada for a while, and then his stepmother got tired of him. Grand-mère saved him; she took him to live with her. It was in the bright radiance of her kitchen where he first learned that the barriers he had built up were not always necessary.

He can remember the two of them standing at the stove, Grand-mère trying to teach him to make pancakes, guiding his hands in flipping the half-cooked batter over. The dish of butter was near an empty plate; quickly as he took the pancakes off the heat she buttered them. They laughed as they ate their creation smothered in maple syrup. Her cheering in the stands as he played on the local hockey team. That image slowly fades and is replaced with her pale silver against her pillow, her breaths faint and shallow. The beep of the heart monitor going silent, then his world broke again.

His dad didn't want him, so he never came. The mother he had not heard from in 10 years sent for him, he was quickly overlooked in light of his twin, who had gotten to stay with her. Alfred was everything he wasn't, a loud, happy 15 year old, instead of the quiet artistic boy that Matthew was. The only thing that you could consider a sport that Matthew was good at was hockey, and well; there weren't really many people who played hockey in the area that his mother lived in.

He remembered looking at the boxes, his stuffed bear Kumajiro clutched into his arms. Slowly he unpacked what used to be his life, putting each little piece of himself into a new place, not like the old one, however as different as the sun is from the moon. He fell asleep at night watching the cars pass by his window, more than once he woke in the morning stiff from the awkward angles of his window seat. The days before his freshman year passed by in a blur, a constant merging of the past and present.

His mom watched his brother talk with his numerous friends at registration. The sun was warm overhead, he stood silently near his mother, listening to her murmur to a few other mothers, once and a while glancing at him. He could almost hear the false sympathy, 'Oh poor dear, his father didn't want him? He lived with your ex's mother? Why didn't you save him sooner?'

She would always respond that she had no idea what had happened, she hadn't been aware of the fact that Matthew was living with Grand-mère at all. Matthew and Alfred's father had apparently cut all ties with his ex. the truth of the matter was however, though she wouldn't admit it; the fact that she completely forgot she had a son other than her perfect Alfred. She forgot all about the other little bundle she had given birth to completely until he had called her in tears.

He learned to ignore the looks that his family gave him. He stared into nothing, for some reason he always felt cold, although the sun was shining. He felt empty, like the years when he lived with his dad. He couldn't feel anything except the dull ache in his heart. A bit of laughter, brighter than the sun caught his attention, it shook away a bit of the fog. He turned around and even if he wanted to, he could not say a word. The girl was beautiful, her eyes where sad though. He saw some of the same pain that was inside of him, the kind that was so deep not much could ever ease it.

It was strange though, he felt the need to make her laugh again, to see that pain he knew they both felt disappear. He watched her throughout the fall, and into winter. It was in late January though, before he learned her name. She had been singing a ballad, her face turned towards the grey above, a sad stillness to her as she sung her heart out. He had never heard it before, but it was beautiful: the haunting hope that it held. Leaning against the wall behind the bus stop, he listens with his eyes closed, for once in surrender.

The song breaks off; she had finally noticed his presence. The moments seemed suspended in time as they both stared at the other. Then she smiles, and he has a bit of hope. When she gestures for him to sit down, he does so. He manages to stutter out a few words, and others followed those. For the first time since Grand-mère was lowered into the ground, he felt something that was akin to happiness.

* * *

Wow, that was a bit hard to write. I wrote this while listening to Terrible Things by Mayday Parade, amazing but sad song. Please enjoy my amazing depressingness, and do remember the little blue button.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello people! Thank you for reading this far... I don't own Hetalia... I did write the poem though...

* * *

Arthur looks at his cousin in shock. Matthew seemed happy for once, talking to the girl. They were sitting at the bus stop laughing. He manages to look normal as they are all introduced to the girl; her name though makes him pause. That girl, she brought back very unpleasant memories, she looked like someone… he couldn't quite put his finger on it though. Then it came to him, that other girl's smile, when they had laid in the grass together, fingers intertwined. Her long fingers stroking his hair, then him climbing out of the window before the sun climbed into the east. Then later, her tears. Her growing distant, the test he had found buried in her bottom drawer. He had taken care of it, or at least he thought he had.

That is why he was in this dump of a place; he had to fabricate some excuse to get away from there, lest the family learn about his part. Now the thing he had run from is staring him in the face again. No, it wasn't her, she was dead, her words silenced by his hand. No, this was even worse, that girl Matthew was smiling at was her little sister. This really couldn't be happening.

* * *

The sun was weak against the sky, barely breaking through the mass of grey. Watching the clouds swirl reminds you of yourself, those days when you had to force yourself out of bed; when even taking a breath seemed too hard at times. Your phone buzzes harshly, and then plays the tune to your favorite song. Answering it, you are rather shocked when Matthew's voice sounds at the other end.

"Hey _" Matthew's voice sounds different on the phone; somehow it seemed more vulnerable.

"Oh hi Matthew what's up?" You try to control your now quickly beating heart.

"Well… I am not gonna be at school tomorrow, Arthur has something going on. I just wanted to let you know that I can still come over Saturday, but I think I am going to have to meet you at the bakery, its closer to my house."

The fact that he sounds so nervous makes you feel more than a little better. "Its cool, don't worry about it." You manage somehow to keep your voice even. You continue, "Elizabeta is probably going to meet us there anyway."

The two of you talk for a while, when he says something that makes you collapse in random giggles. Your mom chooses that moment to come in your room and check on you. She looks at you, sitting in the middle of your floor giggling madly and starts laughing, which makes you laugh even harder. You manage to gasp out a goodbye to Matthew and turn to your mom, who had since sat down on your bed.

"Sorry about that, I was talking to Matthew…" you let your voice trail off.

Your mom simply smiles, "Its so nice to hear you laughing again." You sit on the bed beside her, and she runs her fingers through your hair. Taking parts of it she begins braiding, "You haven't laughed like that in so long." She turns your head so she can get to the other side. "So is he coming Saturday or no?"

"Yeah, he is. He is just going to meet us at the bakery because its closer to his house." Taking a strand of your hair into your fingers, you twist it around slowly. "He was calling because he isn't coming to school tomorrow because he has to something with his cousin Arthur."

Your mom takes the braids she had made out and reaches over for your hairbrush. Running it slowly through your hair she replies, "Its okay by me, but don't be surprised if I recruit him to help out."

You giggled a bit, "I know, I already warned him about that. He said he didn't mind though."

Your mom finishes the braid, twists it a bit then secures it with hairpins."Well that's good, its probably going to be busy. Now come help me with dinner."

* * *

Matthew sits on his bed staring at his phone. He had done it, and somehow it was easy. He had made her laugh, and he had laughed as well. He flinches when a sharp knock sounds from his door. "Come in." His voice softly echoes through the small light filled room.

Arthur steps in, closing the door behind him. Sitting at the window seat, he watches the cars pass by. After a few moments he turns to his cousin. "Where did you meet her?"

Matthew hears something that he doesn't like within his cousin's voice, some emotion he cannot identify. Deciding to tell just enough to satisfy Arthur's curiosity, he replies in the softest voice that he can manage. "We met at the bus stop a while ago." He decides to leave out the fact that he had seen her long before, that he had been watching her since he had first heard her laughter.

Arthur looks semi-satisfied about his answer but asks another question, "Does she have any siblings?"

He wonders about the question, Arthur seems to be trying to get something specific out of him. "I don't think so, she just talks about her mom."

Arthur nods and getting up, glances once more out of the window. Walking over to the door he opens it and slips through, closing it with a soft click. Matthew watches the door for a while then reaching from under his bed pulls out a notebook. Opening to the first page, he finds what he was looking for, a poem he wrote after Grand-mère died.

THOUGHTS IN INSANITY

Tell me, why does the sun seem too bright?

Why can't I seem to smile for real anymore?

Why my chest seems always to hurt?

I want to start over, to fill this hole myself,

Without the help of another.

I want to stop contemplating just how far the ground is below the window.

Or what would happen if I simply stepped in front of the speeding cars.

Would anyone weep? Would anyone only after that remember my name?

I no longer know, I just don't .

I just don't want to forget.

Matthew sighs, reliving those confused emotions. Glancing to the bottom of the paper, he notices something he had forgotten. Scribbled in his neat hand was the name of a song. You're Not Alone, by Saosin. He vividly hear the words in his mind, and even now they give him hope, even though right now he doesn't think he needs it anymore.

* * *

Yuck, another short chapter. Yeah, that is a really good song by the way, I would highly recommend it to anyone. Also, please tell, who likes the chapters in Matthew's point of view? The chapters are going to get a bit less boring now... I think you can see why. Remember the little blue button right below these words please...


	8. Chapter 8

I thank you all who have reviewed, I read every single one. It makes me so happy in the morning to wake up to new reviews. Also, around the fourth I will not be able to do much, my family is going camping a few days prior then I have to go to my Father's house for a time. (yuck!) Oh, and sorry if this chapter seems a bit more melancholy, I blame it on the fact that my father and older sister are acting like total idiots at the moment.

Also, on a separate note, though most of you won't see a difference I have decided to convert from Christianity to Islam. This is a huge deal for me, even though I am 15 I have put a HUGE amount of thought into it, and have decided that it is the right choice. My mom and stepdad are already Muslim, so they will be rather happy, its just my father and stepmom I have worries about. (My stepmom is one of the bible pounding Christ is the only way to heaven sort of Christian, hopefully that didn't offend anyone!) If you have any questions please feel free to PM me or include the question in a review!

I do not, and never will own Hetalia. I only own the crazy thoughts in my deranged mind, and perhaps not even them. Well I will stop on my constant rambling. Here is the chapter you have been waiting for.

* * *

One could say that the past holds nothing to now. Others would argue that the past is everything, I the teller, shall argue for the latter. This is the pattern, the same thing as your dreams. You are dusting the counter in front of you with flour, having been gotten up early that morning when your mom woke you up. She was in the front, sweeping up and cleaning before opening.

Sinking your hands into the bowl of dough, you pull out a chunk. Pressing the warm mass in your hands, you quickly form the shape of the small loaf and set it on the clay tray. You repeat the process till the tray is full, then you quickly put it in the oven, taking out the finished bread afterwards. When your mom joins you, she tosses you your nametag. Stepping out of the back for a moment you revel in the clear blue sky, clouds of your breath fogging the air in front of you. You could hear faint birdsong, and the tiny wisps of white that made the rain of the previous day seem like a faint memory.

The previous day, memories of the rain come unbidden into your mind. It was the sort of rain that could make an emotive soul weep. You couldn't help but feel a touch of sadness that Matthew wasn't there, Elizabeth and Maria could sense somehow that it wasn't one of your good days as you lapsed into silence, quietly contemplating the rain. This morning you felt alive again, as if you had finally woken from a long sleep.

You and Mom work in the shop, laughing with customers and cleaning the glass from the sticky fingerprints of little children. Elizabeth stops in around noon, quickly pays for a loaf of bread then runs back home, promising to meet you at your house later. She didn't give a reason to her haste, you were guessing she had to watch her many younger siblings for a while as her parents worked. Matthew walked into the shop around two, carrying a paper sack.

Waving to your mom, who was working at the register you drag him into the back. After he washed up the two of you started icing cupcakes. He actually was almost as good as you were; the cupcakes were finished quickly. The chocolate spirals of icing where rather tempting, even more so when you sprinkled some dark chocolate shavings on the top. After bringing them up to put into the display case, mom quickly finished with the customers and flipped the front sign to closed. Glancing at you, she makes her way into the back, with you trailing behind slowly.

"Hello, I assume you're Matthew?" Her question sounds more like a statement, Matthew seeming to understand this bows his head a bit respectively.

"Yes, Ma'am. My mother had me bring this along with me." He hands her the paper bag he had been carrying earlier, inside low and behold, was a bottle of imported maple syrup.

Mom smiles at that, obviously rather impressed. "Why thank you, you really didn't have to."

Matthew smiles slightly, "As you know moms can be rather pushy sometimes." Then he adds in as an afterthought, "that is my personal favorite, I knew _ hadn't tried it before so I brought some."

"I remember a guy my older daughter brought home once, before she died. He brought scones that he had apparently made, they were absolutely horrible." You were rather surprised that Mom brought up the topic of Gwen so easily, before now it wasn't something that they talked about.

Matthew manages to keep a straight face. "That sounds sort of like my cousin, Arthur. He can cook a little but is absolutely horrible at baking." Then he continues, "I am sorry for your loss."

Mom slowly raises a hand to her mouth in shock. "Is your cousin's name Arthur Kirkland by any chance?" Her voice came out shakily.

Matthew looks a bit puzzled at her response but answers, "Yes actually…"

She looks shocked for a moment, then shakes her, head. "I will be right back, _, will you clean up back here real quick? Then we can head home."

When she is gone Matthew looks at you with a puzzled expression. "If its okay, can I ask what happened to her?"

You smile a bit, but it didn't really reach your eyes. "Gwen was my older sister. She died about three years ago, suicide."

Matthew nods in understanding. "My Grand-mère passed last year. I lived with her before I moved here. My father didn't want me so she took me. Then when she passed Mom got me."

Again, you smile weakly, "Looks like we both have our troubles with fathers. Mine went away right after her funeral."

The two of you remember silently the painful things you both know you wished never happened. When you finish cleaning you go to find your mom, Matthew trailing behind.

* * *

Matthew POV

He hadn't realized that she had lived in England, that really was the only explanation to Arthur meeting her mother and sister. It also explained the sadness that was within both her and her mother's eyes. He could sense something _ wasn't telling him, something that caused her more pain than she was willing to admit. He could remember some days during the school year in which she sat alone, although her other friends surrounded her. Her eyes were constantly somewhere else, looking outside, anywhere but the space in front of her, or other people.

It brought him back to what Arthur had asked, and he felt rather sick remembering. What was the reason Arthur moved here he obviously hates it. They ended up walking to _'s house, being the fact that it was so nearby. It was an older house, two stories with an oak tree in the front yard. The tree had no leaves, but the grass was green with the constant rain. Her mom walked up the wooden steps onto the porch. Taking a key she slips it into the lock and opens the door.

The house itself was warm and a bit cluttered. It opened into a small hall leading into the living room. The living room itself was on the small side, bookcases against one wall, the windows where large, letting in the golden sunlight. It overlooked the kitchen and dining room, both obviously used rather often. He hadn't been there for long before there was a sharp knock on the door, _ with an apologetic look on her face runs to go answer it.

* * *

You opened the door to a slightly grumpy Elizabeth. "And yes, before you ask, I did have to babysit, and they did drive me crazy" Her voice was short and clipped.

"Its cool, Matthew is already here. Do you know if Maria is coming?"

"No, actually some of her relatives from Liechtenstein are in town so she had to stay home." Elizabeth's voice was tired. Her four younger siblings were a handful, the oldest below her being a moody 9 year old and the youngest being 4. They were basically as hyperactive as little kids could be, and could never seem to get along for more than half an hour.

When you walked back into the living room your mom was talking to Matthew, so you took Elizabeth up to your room so she could put her stuff inside.

* * *

Yeah… sorry about how it cuts off so soon, I will try to get out the next half as soon as possible, however I am leaving for the beach Saturday morning and then going to my father's house until the 8th. Wish me luck in telling him of my decision!


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry everyone about the late update, I hit a bit of a block so I couldn't really finish the chapter. I was working on it though, so please don't hurt me… You people have been so patient with me thanks a billion. I have two other stories that are currently in progress as well, and a plot bunny has taken me hostage for one of them. Not fun I can assure you.

Do I own Hetalia? Nope. Do I WANT to own Hetalia, realistically no. Think of all of the legal work…

* * *

"Spill it" Elizabeth's voice is lively and mischievous, however you can tell easily what would happen if you didn't comply with her demands. Sighing, you beckon her to actually step into the room so you could close the door. Walking right past you she plops down on your bed and looks at you expectantly.

"Elizabeth, nothing happened. He helped us out in the bakery then we hung out." You pause then remember the conversation from earlier. "You know his cousin? Arthur?"

Elizabeth nods slowly, "Yes, but what about him. He can't cook. I have heard Alfred complaining enough to draw that."

You take a breath, then release. "He knew Gwen, he knew her before she died."

Elizabeth looks at you sharply. "You know what. The next person that comes along claiming to have known your family at one point or another I will personally tear their brains from their sculls. This is getting ridiculous. I mean why is someone who you met in England going to show up in a place you moved to three years after the fact? It doesn't make sense. I will talk with you later about this; Mom gave the okay for once to stay over. "

Walking back to where Matthew seemed to still be in conversation with your mom, Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at the sight. Your mom had Matthew standing at the counter peeling potatoes. "I swear, only she can get people she had met just to peel potatoes for her." You hiss at Elizabeth.

Elizabeth turns to you and laughs at the torn expression on your face. "I happen to know for a fact if you put your mind to it _, you could do the exact same thing."

You make a face at her, and at that moment, Mom decides to notice your presence. "_, seriously why is it every time I try to have a serious conversation you do something that makes me want to laugh?" Her mouth twitches into a smile and she continues. "Not cool, don't you agree Matthew?"

Matthew doesn't really reply, he just nods slightly and continues peeling the potatoes. "Okay girls, you know the drill." Your mom looks at you expectantly, so you drag Elizabeth to start setting the table.

**ABOUT 3 HOURS LATER**

Sitting cross-legged on your bed you watch idly as Elizabeth takes over your laptop. "_, can I show you this one doujin I found?" Rolling your eyes you shake your head no, it was in most probability yaoi and you weren't really in the mood to deal with that at the moment.

"How your parents are still oblivious to the point that you look up gay porn on a regular basis shocks me really." You muse quietly, her family was actually highly religious, being Catholic they went to mass and the whole nine yards; and well, if they saw what their 'pure' little daughter was looking at she would be sent to a nunnery in a heartbeat.

Elizabeth raises an eyebrow, "Very carefully. You tell on me you die." You smile slightly; you had gone through this many times already. Snatching back your laptop, you quickly exit out of Tumblr, groaning internally at the images of naked men. Switching over to YouTube you quickly type in a favorite song of yours, listening as the voice of Julia Ecklar sounds from the speakers. "No. Not that again, put on that Rhapsody crap that you showed me last time."

You knew what she was talking about from the start; Elizabeth was a fan of metal. Not the heavy, growling stuff mind you, but the songs with the vocalists singing as a soloist would in a choir. "Nope, how about this- I found it a while back and forgot to show you." Searching you mind for the correct spelling you quickly type in Omnos Eluveitie and click on the first result.

Elizabeth squeals in delight as the speakers start spewing Gaulish. "This, is amazing. The love of dead languages!" Lying back on your bed, she closes her eyes and listens, then when the song finishes she continues without opening her eyes. "Send me a link to that would you? Okay on to other things. Matthew?"

Sighing, you put on some Haggard for background noise and shift to a more comfortable position. "I already told you what happened though."

Elizabeth sighs; the movements making the bed shake slightly. In a sarcastic tone she speaks. "Oh isn't he just so well mannered and lovely." Finally rises to an elbow, "Hon, you got to talk to me. I will continue to bother you. Maria told me to relay what I find out to her at the threat of telling Vash about the yaoi. Please? Personally, I think it's a real life version of Shy all over again; though you actually talked to the poor guy."

Wracking your brain, you finally get the reference to the Sonata Arctica song. "You are a bitch you know that right. I don't see how you can make that connection. Not cool. At all." Shaking your head you continue, "We get along well enough. He gave Mom some Maple Syrup..."

Elizabeth laughs slightly, "That made her happy I bet. Come on, continue?" She gestures broadly with her hands.

Looking at your hands, you busy them with switching the song over Eppur Si Muove. "His grandmother passed away shortly before he moved here from Canada. We talked a little, mostly about trivial things."

Elizabeth looks at you with doubtful eyes, "Trivial you say, death is really that trivial?"

"Sometimes it is though. After a while it just becomes empty, a blur. You don't associate much with it because you hold it at an arm's length." Your words are thoughtful, yet somehow come out flatly.

Elizabeth's face falls a little, "That look on your face, it seems so empty. It's funny really; it goes away whenever you even sit by him. You guys are the same."

"Um, what do you mean by being the same?" You didn't quite understand her drift, you felt normal for once; talking to one of your best friends and laughing over the cheesy album covers on the videos. You didn't quite understand why she thought that you had something wrong with you.

"Maria noticed it first I think. You are so quiet _, you always look so sad. I know why too, it was Gwen. Have you gone through her stuff at all?"

You shake your head, beyond putting the things away you didn't touch anything except to clean. She always yelled at you for touching her stuff, it was hers still. You couldn't just go through it on a whim like that, she would get mad.

Elizabeth stands. "_, you are going to need to do this sooner or later. Come on, now."

Seeing the expression on her face you stand as well, and walk over to her belongings. She just watches you as you pull out a journal, starting at the oldest one of the bunch. Flipping through it, the messy handwriting is nearly illegible so you put it back. Sighing, you realize the others will be the same so you pull out the most recent, hoping her handwriting had improved to some degree.

Not particularly wanting to look at it first, you thrust the book into Elizabeth's hands. She gets the unsaid question and begins reading. Her face is furrowed slightly in concentration as she flips through the ink stained pages. Then she pauses, "Um, didn't you say that your mom had her break it off or something?"

"Well, she didn't quite have her break it off. From the little I have heard it was more of a 'never bring him back home again or you will break it off' sort of thing. I wouldn't know though, she only ever brought Arthur up today."

Elizabeth nods, "Well she did break it off apparently. I don't know how to say this but it was about a month before she passed. I can't read this part though…" She hands the book over and you squint at the messy scrawl, but you could only make out a few letters, what you thought to be a b and a p.

* * *

Okay, short chapter, at least it is an update though… I am too tired to write anymore right now... Sorry if the writing style keeps changing you guys though. Oh, and sorry about my personal taste in music bleeding through, it has a tendency to do that. I do recommend them though… They are NOT for everyone though.

Songs mentioned:

Phoenix by Julia Ecklar

Heart of the Darklands by Rhapsody of Fire

Omnos by Eluveitie

Eppur Si Muove by Haggard

Shy by Sonata Arctica


	10. Chapter 10

Okay, I finally got this one done. Thank this new writing thing I am using instead of Microsoft Word. Its made it so I don't go jumping to other various tabs that I will without fail open then forget what I was doing in the first place. I will issue a warning in this chapter for language only.

* * *

There are times between siblings where things just stay implanted into the brain, images, a few choice exchanged words or a fight that remained prominent All you can see is Gwen, because Gwen is your older sister. Gwen bloody and Gwen smiling, the images were not something that you wanted to recall at all, they just kept popping up. Though you would never ever admit it now, you looked up to her, you wanted to show her that you were worth being related to. Perhaps this logic isn't nearly as sound as it ought to be, but logic cannot always be explained. Even during the worse bit of fighting and arguing, you wanted for her to see something in you that she could be proud of.

This was physically hard, even though as a child you had cracked open similar spines without qualms. But memories are not always fun nor easy to revisit, and this was one of those times. Elizabeth simply sits, waiting patiently before snatching your computer and fiddling with Windows Media Player. The music changes again, though that is bound to happen with anything. You pay her no heed, puzzling out the cramped script.

* * *

_Things seem so... different now. I don't know anything anymore. I am starting to kinda understand why mom wanted me to break it off. I'm not ready for this- what he wants. Its seriously fucking up my head, the constant.. well everything. I mean I love him and all, he is perfect. Just well... I am just making myself more confused now aren't I. Well whoop de doo. Here I though writing things down for a change would actually help this crap make more sense. What does it do? Well only make things a hell lot more confusing. Fuck. God FUCKING DAMN IT!_

_Okay, I get it book, its not nice to yell. Or curse, but I don't fucking care. See? I am super super not caring because this is just a peice of paper. Yuppers. Makes me miss those days when I actually still had my wonderful time of the month. Then I at least had an excuse to be bitchy, now I guess I can just blame it all on those rising hormones and the now forming bugle in my stomach I finally took that stupid test today, not that I was really worried about it. Remember? I told you before that my periods stopped, so I started thinking that I should check. Just. In. Case. Ugh, Mom and Dad are going to FUCKING KILL ME._

_Seriously, I think my heart just about stopped when that little test came out positive. Here I am, not even out of school and prego. Don't worry, I won't kill it. How can you seriously not love something so small, growing inside you? It NEEDS me, even though its probably not even aware that it does. Well. How am I going to tell them. I guess I can wait a bit longer, hide it for now. But what about when I can't hide it anymore, that little bulge becoming this huge big thing that you can't hide at all? I don't know if I want to tell Arthur, or if I should even break it off._

_Why did I even get my stupid self into this. I could have said no, ugh fuck my life... Maybe I will break it off, just in case. Arthur doesn't need to know now. Really, maybe a bit of a break will do us both good. Well stupid little book, wish me luck for now._

* * *

Your mind stops working at this new revelation. 'Gwen, she was pregnant? With Arthur's baby apparently. Wow. Just... Ugh,' you could feel your face growing pale, and you snap the book shut and place it carefully on the nightstand. You think it would probably be a good idea to stay quiet about it for now, there wasn't any real reason to bring that pain of knowing to anyone else. That would mean your mom trying to get a hold of your dad... Something that you knew for a fact pained her greatly. Why shouldn't it? He basically ended up blaming her for it all, instead of looking at the obvious- Gwen. Its so easy at times to fake normal behavior. Normal behavior wasn't something you really enjoyed, so you never bothered.

But this, it brought back so many images. Her goofy smile, the secrets she was so talented at making so secret that they weren't even to be considered a secret. They were just little whispers that seemed to be forgotten as soon as they were let into the air. Elizabeth finally looks up from the laptop's screen, her eyebrow raising slowly at the sight of your pale face. "What happened? Where you actually able to read it?"

You nod and she sighs. "Seriously? What did it say?"

"Um... I would rather not talk about it right now. Okay?" Your voice comes out shakily, but somehow strong at the same time. Elizabeth buries her face into her palms, her elbows resting on her knees.

Raising her head once more she lifts a finger and starts waving it at you in sharp, controlled movements. "This secrecy will be the death of you, you know that right? You have to tell me or at least Maria sooner or later. Got it mister?" You nod, allowing yourself a small giggle at Elizabeth's expense. "What? Are you really laughing at me now? Not cool I swear to God I will give you a reason to laugh!"  
Let us just say from here that much laughing and tickling ensues from this pointed threat. Though you didn't think it was exactly normal to go about tickling your friends, not that you cared. Remember, its all about non-conformity here. Nothing more nothing less, well... that is what you kept telling yourself. Anyway, you really didn't know what normal was anymore, why try following something you had not the faintest idea about?

* * *

Yes. Yet another short chapter, I seem to suck doing long ones. -_- I will try to get the next part out slightly quicker, I cannot make any promises though- Homestuck seems to be consuming my existence. Fun. And sorry for any errors, I went over it once but it is also almost midnight for me, no promises.


End file.
